Psychology studies have shown that in when two people are communicating, it is the Listener who is in control of the conversation. Shocked? But it’s true. Ever wondered why? Because you see, the Listener whose attention the speaker is seeking, the Listener choses what they want to hear, and the Listener can always “Space Out”.
It is an art I’ve perfected in the days, a dear friend reminded me have been oh-so-long-gone, I was in college. Isn’t it wonderful, when someone is talking about the different kinds of typewriters and you see goblins sitting on their shoulder blowing flying kisses at you. Fix the position of your eyes on the Speakers eyes and they’ll never know you’ve left the building.
The best place to use this art is where someone is screaming at you for a mistake you’ve made. You’ve already made the mistake, you understand that it has a huge impact and won’t repeat it, but they have to scream at you. Or, tragic looks, their ego will suffer. Space out!
Say to the person, in your head, especially if they are in physically better shape than you are, “You are an insolent toe-rag, I feel like you are the worst kind of scrum on the earth, and have no right to breathe the same air as those who lead their lives with honour. However, you have every right to be an insolent to rag if you wish and I can chose to walk away or space out and not hear you if I so chose. For the moment, I am simply grateful that your upbringing wasn’t my responsibility and that it’s not my job to teach you manners.”
Don’t laugh it clues them in on your spacing. Add “Because, you know, Man! That would be a task!” and laugh later 🙂