What are the most vicious, merciless, monsters that your ingenious imagination can construct? No. They cannot be worse than a six-year-old on a sugar high. If you had half as much dedication to running like a train downhill without breaks, jumping till Time has protested against watching the repetitive action and circumventing a million relatives you didn’t know you had wanting to hug you, it would be you on that billboard with that unreasonably good-looking model. So, imagine if their parents handed over your young cousins into your inexperienced care, “We got them here, but for the afternoon they are your responsibility.” They seem to get sadistic pleasure out of the horrified look on your face.
Never fear, the solution is here! It’s just an afternoon, not the day, doesn’t an evil smile just find its way to your face as it occurs to you that sugar high does take some time to kick in. If a kid wants to order Choco-Chip Pancakes with chocolate sauce and whipped cream for lunch at Smoke House Deli, who am I to keep him from his dream?
When his sister wants Smoked Salmon Sandwich with Crispy French Fries & Aglio Olio Spaghetti, which the waiter decorously mentions is too spicy, that is fine too. We figure we can share.
“Will it be too much?” she asks.
“No worries, we’ll get it packed.”
The food, as is true of most restaurants, will take time? And children need entertainment every second. The interesting fact, though, is most slaves to working culture fail to comprehend the high threshold writer have for public humiliation and embarrassment. We really don’t mind screaming, shouting, and laughing uncontrollably. So you whip out your phone and introduce them to a fabulous app for a game called Charades which will allow them to do each of those things in turn.
As the kids happily attack their food, the little one looks at you in wonder. “That is why I like you,” he says,”because you let us do whatever we want.” As an after thought he adds, “Ohh!! And you have Money!”
And it feels pretty Awesome, even after the food stops talking.